


an expanse of infinity

by midnightmew



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Angst, Does Eiffel have his memories? Idk it's very ambiguous here, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Introspection, My First Work in This Fandom, References to Depression, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 04:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17842385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightmew/pseuds/midnightmew
Summary: Douglas Eiffel was finally home. After years in space, his feet were finally back on solid ground. The first few months had passed in a blur, for as soon as they went public with what had occurred with Goddard Futuristics, they were all swept up in a media frenzy, interviews every day, and of course the lawsuit. And now it had all died down and it was the first chance he had to stop for a moment and realise that all of this was over. Finally over.





	an expanse of infinity

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I didn't mean my first work in this fandom to be so angsty, unfortunately I tend to project massively onto my writing so...  
> Also I don't really know if Eiffel has his memories in this fic or not, I kind of imply yes, but it could be slightly ambiguous still?

Douglas Eiffel was finally home. After years in space, his feet were finally back on solid ground. The first few months had passed in a blur, for as soon as they went public with what had occurred with Goddard Futuristics, they were all swept up in a media frenzy, interviews every day, and of course the lawsuit. And now it had all died down and it was the first chance he had to stop for a moment and realise that all of this was over. Finally over.

He had moved to the middle of nowhere, he couldn’t really cope with big cities and people everywhere at the moment, and the settlement he had been given was more than enough for him to buy a house and probably never have to work another day in his life ever again.

Minkowski was still spending every moment she had trying to advance the effort in taking down Goddard, she had been sympathetic with the others leaving as soon as they could, but Eiffel knew the kind of person she was. There was no way she was stopping until every last trace of the company had vanished, he admired her for it, but he couldn’t do it himself.

It was at least half an hour from where he was living to the nearest village, which was nice. He could spend all day at home or exploring the area and not see a single other person. When he did go in, normally to get food, he attracted the attention of everyone. His face had been all over the news for the last few months, it was, after all, the scandal of the century. Apparently, the novelty of Douglas Eiffel himself buying eggs and milk hadn’t quite worn off yet.

He mainly kept to himself though, to the extent that he sometimes went days without even seeing another human being. Before he left, he had never really been one for books, but he found himself picking them up more and more, a chance to escape from his life even if it was just for a couple of hours at a time.

He supposed he should get a job, even if he didn’t need one, he had just about enough self-awareness to realise that shutting himself off like this was not exactly going to be good for him in the long run. But he didn’t think he could face it just yet, so he stayed in his routine. He didn’t wake till midday, for although it was summer, he didn’t go to bed until long after the sun did.

One of the main reasons he didn’t want to live in a city when he returned was the light pollution, for when the sun set he would go outside and lie back on the grass, looking up into the rest of the universe. It was strange to think that that was where he had been for so long, it felt simultaneously like he had returned merely seconds ago, aspects of that life still played out in his head in perfect clarity, whilst in other moments it felt like a dream, the fleeting memories slipping through his brain in the same way that one cannot keep hold of water for any length of time.

Sometimes there were nights when the memories are so vivid that he couldn’t bear to see that pitch-black night and the stars that look so far away in the distance. When that happened, he would turn on every light in the house, and shut the curtains so he couldn’t see out the windows. He would put on a record, something he’s gotten back into collecting since his return- he found himself using less and less technology, not by any conscious decision, just as something that happened naturally- and sit on the sofa, wrapped up in blankets. He would just let the music wash over him until he drifted off.

Other nights he found that he couldn’t drag himself away from that night sky, and he would lie out there on the cold, sometimes slightly damp grass, until either the sun came up over the horizon or he drifted off to sleep. His body was always sore the mornings after that happened but seeing as his days were mainly spent in idleness it didn’t really have that big of an impact on him.

He didn’t realise just how much he had isolated himself until Jacobi appeared at his front door one day, knocking frantically until Eiffel finally wandered downstairs to let him in. It turned out he had let his phone run flat, and he hadn’t noticed. Minkowski had been trying to contact him, some new information about their case against Goddard, Jacobi had informed him, and when he hadn’t responded in over a week, she had grown worried and had sent Jacobi to check up on him.

Eiffel vaguely remembered meaning to charge his phone, but he hadn’t realised it had been so long since that had happened. Time didn’t feel the same anymore, not after the days he had lived on loop in space, that and then days so full of action he couldn’t even sleep for a moment, just one thing after another in a constant state of panic. But now whole days would pass without him noticing, or sometimes hours seemed to drag on for lifetimes, he had very little awareness of how much time had passed since he had returned.

Clearly, he had worried the others with his lack of presence in the world, they were busy working away at exposing Goddard and here he was, spending days staring at the ceiling in his bedroom, hoping that when he got up maybe the gravity would be gone from the world and he could at last return to that freeing feeling of weightlessness.

He had apologised to Jacobi, and after he watched him phone Minkowski to assure her that Eiffel was fine, he invited him inside and made him tea. Eiffel knew he was in no fit state to see people, he had no idea when he had showered last and he was fairly sure he had been wearing the same old sweatpants and t-shirt with a logo from a show he could no longer remember on the front of it.  

He knew Jacobi was worried about him, he could see the concern etched on to his face, and as Eiffel struggled to talk about how he had been spending his time, he knew he could no longer keep up the façade. Jacobi had been one of them, as much as he hated to admit it at times, but ultimately, he had been through all they had and worse. So, he let himself be comforted, curl up into his side on the sofa, and let his tears run free. It still surprised him the way they ran down his face instead of floating off into the air in front of him. Gravity was still taking some getting used to.

And he still felt just as numb as he felt Jacobi’s arm around him, reached for his hand and let him massage circles into his hand. But he felt a little bit less alone.

As he lay out on the grass that night- after having phoned Minkowski who promised she would come over the following week, and saying goodbye to Jacobi who had assured Eiffel that he would phone him every day ‘just to make sure he was doing alright, and to see if he needed anything’- he felt a little less isolated on this strange planet that was where he now resided. But he looked out on the stars, and he knew that despite this being where he lived now, he was a long way away from ‘home.’ His heart was in the stars. Even after everything that had happened out there, it was where he belonged, and he knew for sure that one day, in the distant future, he would look out over the universe again and he would know he was home at last.


End file.
